"The Most Common Mistake Made by Newly Engaged Couples"

Feature Article


"The most common mistake made by newly engaged couples!"

by Tracey Baxter



This major mistake can be costly in many ways. Whether you are dreaming of a very intimate gathering or a bash that rivals New York’s Times Square on New Year’s Eve, the most important factor to consider is creating your wedding guest list. Most brides and mothers of these brides estimate that they will host a certain number, say 135 guests, and jump right into booking venues and dress shopping. Unfortunately, what they think will be 135 guests actually tallies to something quite different when they finally sit down and make a list of who they really would like to invite. Let’s examine a couple examples of how guessing your guest list total sabotages your wedding planning before you get started.







Some brides justify procrastinating creating an accurate guest list thinking there will be a large number of guests that will be unable to attend. This is not usually the case. Inviting more than 10 guests over what your venue will safely accommodate is not a gamble worth taking. You will be in a world of hurt much too late in the game to change the location and your venue will have no choice but to force you (or your family or wedding planner) to turn guests away at the door because they take fire code violations very seriously. This would be more horrific than not inviting some people to begin with don’t you think?






When you over estimate your guest list and choose a venue scaled for well over your actual needs, you’re still not making the most informed decision. Hosting a small event in a massive space is not the end of the world but you will still have only two options if you don’t care for the idea of your intimate event getting lost in the expanse of the ballroom. And your options could be expensive. You will need to either increase your budget to make the space feel more intimate by adding fabric, tents or other large scale décor or forfeit the deposit so you can find a venue elsewhere that is more appropriately sized for your event.






The guest list, particularly the trimming of the guest list, has more potential for prickly discussions than any other wedding planning category. When brides immediately start searching venues and caterers, they often choose a site that is too small because they underestimated their guest list. This creates unnecessary stress as the guest list has to be reduced. Traditionally, the guest list size is determined by the host and is divided in half for each family to select their share of the guests. But if the reserved venue is much smaller than the guest list needs, there are only two options. You must either trim the guest list or lose your deposit and booking somewhere that safely accommodates all of your invited guests.






Guest list size makes the financial impact. If you have a large reception in mind, say 300 guests, allotting $65 per person will total $19,500. The same reception for 200 guests drops to $13,000 and for 100 guests to just $6500. This example of $65 per person included bar service, cake, décor in addition to a plated meal. If you selected a menu that alone is $65 per person, revisit the numbers above and add to them at least 50% for the addition of décor, bar service and cake. You can easily see the financial significance of accurately figuring out the guest list right from the start.






Communication is key!  Regardless of if you go with the traditional guest list allocation, tally based on who is contributing to the budget, or some other formula, clear and compassionate communication between you, your fiancé, and both of your families is important. Not only are you more likely to create an event that you truly desire, it will also set the standard for a future of good communication between you all.

Your Wedding Planning Homework!

It's time to make that guest list! Don't procrastinate! I like to use a spreadsheet and make columns at the top for the guest first name, last name, their spouse or guest's name, names of children, total guests in the party etc. The auto tally feature also helps so you don't have to count them up when you are done. If you already have a gotten started on your guest list, have you considered a column for how the invitations outer and inner envelops should be written?


If you're closer to the wedding then sending invitations, on your guest list spreadsheet, don't forget a column for how the escort or seating cards should be written and recording the date when you wrote a thank-you card!