Creating the Ultimate Guestlist

Feature Article

By Tracey Baxter



Guest list management is of primo importance through your wedding planning process. The first ingredient in successful wedding planning is taking the guest list head on. There are lots of resources available online and traditional stores both free and for purchase developed especially for brides to use in their wedding planning. But you probably have everything you need to get started already. With the basic office management software that comes with your PC, you can manage your entire wedding planning process quite easily - the key is knowing how to effectively use it.

A database or spreadsheet is most efficient because these can manage multiple aspects of your wedding plans in one program and the information that you input can be rearranged quickly.

In the spreadsheet pictured above, the columns can be sorted. The guest names can be sorted alphabetically or sort by RSVP’s received, or by any criteria that you have entered as a column header. I always suggest brides list the number in the RSVP column rather than a yes or no because you can then run a ‘sum’ of that column and have your total guest count in a flash.

Other columns might include: the entrée selected, special needs such as if they are elderly and use a cane, walker or wheel chair, the table name/number assigned, if invited to rehearsal dinner, RSVPs for rehearsal dinner, whether in or out of town guests, – this is not an exhaustive list! Anything you need to know about your guests can be cataloged in this way.



Having all of the guest information in one place saves time, energy and avoids paper shuffling when you need these answers fast for calligraphers ...or mom! Keeping all of this information organized in one spot makes it easy to create the reports you need – such as entree lists for the caterer, and lists for the wait staff so they serve the right meals to the guests. If you have a plated meal with a choice of entrée, many guests will not remember what they selected weeks before your wedding.



Your caterer will probably plan a few extra entrees, but certainly not enough for half of the guest list to forget (or just plain change their mind). Without an accounting of what each guest specifically requested and providing which entrée is needed for each table to the catering staff, the last tables to be served may not get what they chose. And nothing brings out the guest-zilla in the guests that DO remember what they chose, than not getting what they selected because the kitchen ran out before they were served!





Guests forget more than just their entrée choice. Sometimes the guests forget to write their name on their RSVP cards. This happens surprisingly often. In order to keep track of blank responses, number the RSVP cards and assign each to a specific guest. In the example above, Mr. John Doe’s family received RSVP card #23. If they forgot to write their name on the response, we still would have known it was Mr. & Mrs. John Doe’s card that was received.




Seating cards are a snap to create using this spreadsheet or database also. With a seating card column, you can feed that information for their names (first, last or formally with titles) along with the table number or name assignment into a word processing program using “mail merge” to create your seating or escort cards. If you sort columns alphabetically first, you have less to do when you set them up at the reception because they’ll already be in order!



Using tools you already have at your disposal, you save time, money and sanity! And not having to log into a wedding website to manage your wedding plans, means you can work on your wedding even if you’re without Internet access or just want to work offline! If you don’t already have some basic office management software on your PC, check out OpenOffice.org, Google Docs and other free online sources.



Your Wedding Planning Homework - make your ultimate guest list spreadsheet now so you can just float through the last two weeks before your wedding instead of messing with counting guests, meal selections and other minutia!














Want to use this article in your e-Zine, blog or website? You may as long as you include this complete statement:

Wedding Solutions Specialist Tracey Baxter publishes the "Aisle Do" bi-weekly e-zine. Get your Free Report: "5 Fun and Fabulous Reception Ideas for a Reluctant DIY Bride” at www.aisledoweddings.com

Counter Intelligence Against Guestzilla ...Part 3

Welcome first time visitors - the first two installments of my Guestzilla series posted on Monday and Tuesday - check them out!  Welcome Back to the regulars!  Today we're going to take on two more of the Guestzilla complaints and see what solutions can avoid these kinds of complaints from guests.  
So let's get started!

Guest Complaint: You Didn’t Say Thank You
These guests are not just full of hot air. It’s truly important to spend a few minutes with guests and thank them for their support at your wedding and make them feel welcome. And it’s not more or less important for local vs. guests coming from a distance. With a plan in place ahead of time, you can avoid this sort of complaint and earn the title of excellent host!



For buffet meals, your caterer or wedding coordinator can plate your meal and serve you as the DJ is announcing that the buffet is open. This saves you some time in the buffet line and the inevitable conversation that will make getting through the line more challenging. If this is not possible, you really should go through the line first with the wedding party, both sets of parents and grandparents following. This allows you and your new husband to get to sit and eat! You don’t have to rush, but by design, you'll be the first finished eating and then you can begin visiting tables of guests and spend a few minutes at each table, speaking to everyone there.

It will take most of the dinner hour to get to each table, perhaps slightly longer depending on the guest count, but this efficient strategy will make your guests feel valued.  An added benefit is you'll have successfully visited with most of your guests before the celebration really gets underway.

Keep in mind that thanking them for sharing the celebration with you at the wedding does not eliminate the need to send thank you cards to anyone who brought a gift. 

Guest Complaint:  Working at the Wedding
Doing what they view as insignificant (such as the guest book attendant) or being asked last minute to "help" was the frustration.  

The guest book may or may not need an attendant depending on the ceremony location and your personal preference.  If the vestibule is small, putting the book on a highboy near the entrance or adding a decorative sign to draw guest attention to the book will eliminate the need for someone to physically be near the guestbook the entire time.  You may still need to assign someone the responsibility of taking the guestbook from the ceremony to the reception site. 

While it's free to ask someone in the wedding party to watch the flower girl, it's worth the expense to hire a babysitter so that everyone can enjoy the evening.  The venue manager or your wedding coordinator may have recommendations for inexpensive local babysitters. There may be a small room adjacent to the reception room, that can be used for babysitting. 

It's super important to communicate with all of your attendants what duties they will be responsible to perform. Springing last minute work on a guest when it's not an emergency is really inconsiderate. Unfortunately, there are brides that think this is OK. But don't be one of them! Plan in advance for all the tasks that will need to be accomplished. Make a detailed list and as soon as possible, but ideally at least 3 weeks before your wedding, ask your attendants and other honored guest if they can lend a hand in a specific area.

See you Thursday for the final three complaints by guests!

Counter Intelligence Against Guestzilla ...Part 2

Good Morning and Welcome to our second installment in our Guestzilla series! 

If you missed yesterday's post, check it out now to catch up!

Guest Complaint: A Cash Bar 
Cash bars are not the most graceful etiquette, in fact, if you are unable to pay for the bar, the best etiquette says not to have one at all.  If you decide to have a bar, collaborate with your caterer or bartender to keep costs down by:

• Offering a few specific drinks for a period of time rather than a full bar menu all night long
• Ask if you can pay for part of the bar and it partly be a cash bar. For example, if the bar tab is $13 per person, request to pay $7.50 and ask the bartenders only charge half price to the guests.
• The current trend is to offer a signature cocktail and perhaps beer and wine or champaign.

Probably the biggest issue with the cash bar is guests will need to bring money but not knowing that are embarrassed when they get to the bar.  The key to remedy this is communication.  If you are going to include a cash bar for part of or the entire evening, use your wedding website to update your guests on wedding plans, including note on the itinerary that cash bar service begins at a X time during the night – be that at 5:00pm when the reception starts or at 9:30pm after the 4 hour open bar.  For non-internet connected guests, be sure to reach out to them in other ways.  Preparing your guests with as much information as possible helps them to plan to have a great time at your wedding!






Guest Complaint: The “and Guest” was missing.
The best etiquette is to allow your wedding attendants a plus one, but there is no obligation to include "and guest" for every single guest you invite.  The guest list does not need to double just so you can offer all singles a ‘plus one’. So don’t feel stressed about keeping the guest list small to save money! 

 It’s the best etiquette for the guest to respect your invitation. This is why it is critical to properly address the invitations. The outer envelope is addressed for mailing address. The inner envelope will list specifically who from that household is invited. If you wish to have children, then their names would be listed below their parents. If you didn’t want to extend the invitation to the children, then leave their names off of the inner envelope.


If you are not using a double envelope system for your invitation set, do include all guests on the mailing address envelop or send each invited guest in the household a separate personal invitation.  This will reduce questions about who is or is not included.


By letting your band or DJ know if there will be a significant number of single guests attending, they can encourage mingling and help them to partner up for dancing.




See you Wednesday for part 3!

"The Most Common Mistake Made by Newly Engaged Couples"

Feature Article


"The most common mistake made by newly engaged couples!"

by Tracey Baxter



This major mistake can be costly in many ways. Whether you are dreaming of a very intimate gathering or a bash that rivals New York’s Times Square on New Year’s Eve, the most important factor to consider is creating your wedding guest list. Most brides and mothers of these brides estimate that they will host a certain number, say 135 guests, and jump right into booking venues and dress shopping. Unfortunately, what they think will be 135 guests actually tallies to something quite different when they finally sit down and make a list of who they really would like to invite. Let’s examine a couple examples of how guessing your guest list total sabotages your wedding planning before you get started.







Some brides justify procrastinating creating an accurate guest list thinking there will be a large number of guests that will be unable to attend. This is not usually the case. Inviting more than 10 guests over what your venue will safely accommodate is not a gamble worth taking. You will be in a world of hurt much too late in the game to change the location and your venue will have no choice but to force you (or your family or wedding planner) to turn guests away at the door because they take fire code violations very seriously. This would be more horrific than not inviting some people to begin with don’t you think?






When you over estimate your guest list and choose a venue scaled for well over your actual needs, you’re still not making the most informed decision. Hosting a small event in a massive space is not the end of the world but you will still have only two options if you don’t care for the idea of your intimate event getting lost in the expanse of the ballroom. And your options could be expensive. You will need to either increase your budget to make the space feel more intimate by adding fabric, tents or other large scale décor or forfeit the deposit so you can find a venue elsewhere that is more appropriately sized for your event.






The guest list, particularly the trimming of the guest list, has more potential for prickly discussions than any other wedding planning category. When brides immediately start searching venues and caterers, they often choose a site that is too small because they underestimated their guest list. This creates unnecessary stress as the guest list has to be reduced. Traditionally, the guest list size is determined by the host and is divided in half for each family to select their share of the guests. But if the reserved venue is much smaller than the guest list needs, there are only two options. You must either trim the guest list or lose your deposit and booking somewhere that safely accommodates all of your invited guests.






Guest list size makes the financial impact. If you have a large reception in mind, say 300 guests, allotting $65 per person will total $19,500. The same reception for 200 guests drops to $13,000 and for 100 guests to just $6500. This example of $65 per person included bar service, cake, décor in addition to a plated meal. If you selected a menu that alone is $65 per person, revisit the numbers above and add to them at least 50% for the addition of décor, bar service and cake. You can easily see the financial significance of accurately figuring out the guest list right from the start.






Communication is key!  Regardless of if you go with the traditional guest list allocation, tally based on who is contributing to the budget, or some other formula, clear and compassionate communication between you, your fiancé, and both of your families is important. Not only are you more likely to create an event that you truly desire, it will also set the standard for a future of good communication between you all.

Your Wedding Planning Homework!

It's time to make that guest list! Don't procrastinate! I like to use a spreadsheet and make columns at the top for the guest first name, last name, their spouse or guest's name, names of children, total guests in the party etc. The auto tally feature also helps so you don't have to count them up when you are done. If you already have a gotten started on your guest list, have you considered a column for how the invitations outer and inner envelops should be written?


If you're closer to the wedding then sending invitations, on your guest list spreadsheet, don't forget a column for how the escort or seating cards should be written and recording the date when you wrote a thank-you card!