Counter Intelligence Against Guestzilla ...Part 2

Good Morning and Welcome to our second installment in our Guestzilla series! 

If you missed yesterday's post, check it out now to catch up!

Guest Complaint: A Cash Bar 
Cash bars are not the most graceful etiquette, in fact, if you are unable to pay for the bar, the best etiquette says not to have one at all.  If you decide to have a bar, collaborate with your caterer or bartender to keep costs down by:

• Offering a few specific drinks for a period of time rather than a full bar menu all night long
• Ask if you can pay for part of the bar and it partly be a cash bar. For example, if the bar tab is $13 per person, request to pay $7.50 and ask the bartenders only charge half price to the guests.
• The current trend is to offer a signature cocktail and perhaps beer and wine or champaign.

Probably the biggest issue with the cash bar is guests will need to bring money but not knowing that are embarrassed when they get to the bar.  The key to remedy this is communication.  If you are going to include a cash bar for part of or the entire evening, use your wedding website to update your guests on wedding plans, including note on the itinerary that cash bar service begins at a X time during the night – be that at 5:00pm when the reception starts or at 9:30pm after the 4 hour open bar.  For non-internet connected guests, be sure to reach out to them in other ways.  Preparing your guests with as much information as possible helps them to plan to have a great time at your wedding!






Guest Complaint: The “and Guest” was missing.
The best etiquette is to allow your wedding attendants a plus one, but there is no obligation to include "and guest" for every single guest you invite.  The guest list does not need to double just so you can offer all singles a ‘plus one’. So don’t feel stressed about keeping the guest list small to save money! 

 It’s the best etiquette for the guest to respect your invitation. This is why it is critical to properly address the invitations. The outer envelope is addressed for mailing address. The inner envelope will list specifically who from that household is invited. If you wish to have children, then their names would be listed below their parents. If you didn’t want to extend the invitation to the children, then leave their names off of the inner envelope.


If you are not using a double envelope system for your invitation set, do include all guests on the mailing address envelop or send each invited guest in the household a separate personal invitation.  This will reduce questions about who is or is not included.


By letting your band or DJ know if there will be a significant number of single guests attending, they can encourage mingling and help them to partner up for dancing.




See you Wednesday for part 3!

Planning a Wedding Fit for Royalty, Even on a Commoner’s Budget”

Feature Article
By Tracey Baxter






Your budget is actually irrelevant! A wedding is a time for grace and that’s not a category that can be calculated on the balance sheet. The intrinsic value of proper etiquette at a wedding is immeasurable. So if you want to plan a wedding fit for royalty, the budget is the last thing that will be remembered. Invest some time at your local library or bookstore perusing the wedding etiquette section. Your wedding is a great opportunity to learn (or relearn) how to properly address invitations, how to delicately tell your neighbor that the wedding will be an intimate family affair, and overall how to be a delight to others.


Above all, remember, friends and family mean well! The devil is in the details as they say! What makes your wedding special to you is not necessarily going to speak to your best friend’s tastes and desires. It’s OK to disagree with others on what trend you should be following this season or what menu to offer. This is your wedding and the only thing it should be is a reflection of you and your fiancé’s love for each other. Remember you can agree to disagree without ruffling too many feathers just by saying “You might be right about that!” And then gently change the subject to a different wedding detail or other topic entirely.


Although it might be a given where Prince William and Kate Middleton will be wed, the ceremony location is perhaps the most important place to visit first. Kudos to Kate for her first public wedding planning step she’s taken since the engagement announcement: taking a personal look at Westminster Abbey where her ceremony will very likely be held. Without the ceremony site, there is no wedding. So don’t book too much until the ceremony location is secured.


Guests reign supreme especially when they are royalty and dignitaries from foreign lands. But every bride should take plenty of time considering her guests when planning her wedding. Yes, it’s your day but you want to convey to your guests that you truly desire for them to enjoy your day too. So how can you do that? Plan responsibly! Consider your event day timeline carefully by allowing plenty of time for travel between the ceremony and reception sites. Your guests want to enjoy every part of the event you have planned for them. If it takes more than half hour to travel from the ceremony to the reception site, and your ceremony will end at 4:00pm don’t plan your cocktail hour to start until 5:00pm. Your guests will have time to freshen up and safely arrive without missing a moment of the fun!


Don’t forget the smallest guests! With children in tow, some guests feel it’s challenging to attend a wedding. From individual fun buckets to a table of shared activities, make it easier for guests to relax by providing kid friendly entertainment and fun! This also keeps the kids from controlling the dance floor and thereby allows the guests without children to feel comfortable to enjoy the party too! What should you provide for the kids? Etch-a-Sketch, Rubik’s Cube, Mad Libs, and easy clean crafts in a back pack or bucket are a great start. Lining a kid height table with a stack of butcher paper with a canister of markers, crayons and colored pencils makes a fun table – and it’s sweeter with a centerpiece featuring big yummy lolly-pops for all the kids!


Traditional, trendy, theme-ey or timeless, your wedding above all else should be enjoyable for you and your fiancé. There may be many hurdles to jump but unlike Kate & Prince William you won’t have all the world watching and scrutinizing your every step. Keep your wedding stress perspective! Don’t let yourself get so stressed that you are prone to bride-zilla moments. Take time for yourself to relax and have ‘NWP’ days – Non-Wedding-Planning days that is! Recharge, regroup and relax so you are not overwhelmed. Plan these days into your wedding planning itinerary!



Your Wedding Planning Homework: Plan a spa day, shopping trip or movie night with your bridesmaids, sister, mom or other friends. It's time to relax and recharge your batteries!