Counter Intelligence Against Guestzilla ...Part 2

Good Morning and Welcome to our second installment in our Guestzilla series! 

If you missed yesterday's post, check it out now to catch up!

Guest Complaint: A Cash Bar 
Cash bars are not the most graceful etiquette, in fact, if you are unable to pay for the bar, the best etiquette says not to have one at all.  If you decide to have a bar, collaborate with your caterer or bartender to keep costs down by:

• Offering a few specific drinks for a period of time rather than a full bar menu all night long
• Ask if you can pay for part of the bar and it partly be a cash bar. For example, if the bar tab is $13 per person, request to pay $7.50 and ask the bartenders only charge half price to the guests.
• The current trend is to offer a signature cocktail and perhaps beer and wine or champaign.

Probably the biggest issue with the cash bar is guests will need to bring money but not knowing that are embarrassed when they get to the bar.  The key to remedy this is communication.  If you are going to include a cash bar for part of or the entire evening, use your wedding website to update your guests on wedding plans, including note on the itinerary that cash bar service begins at a X time during the night – be that at 5:00pm when the reception starts or at 9:30pm after the 4 hour open bar.  For non-internet connected guests, be sure to reach out to them in other ways.  Preparing your guests with as much information as possible helps them to plan to have a great time at your wedding!






Guest Complaint: The “and Guest” was missing.
The best etiquette is to allow your wedding attendants a plus one, but there is no obligation to include "and guest" for every single guest you invite.  The guest list does not need to double just so you can offer all singles a ‘plus one’. So don’t feel stressed about keeping the guest list small to save money! 

 It’s the best etiquette for the guest to respect your invitation. This is why it is critical to properly address the invitations. The outer envelope is addressed for mailing address. The inner envelope will list specifically who from that household is invited. If you wish to have children, then their names would be listed below their parents. If you didn’t want to extend the invitation to the children, then leave their names off of the inner envelope.


If you are not using a double envelope system for your invitation set, do include all guests on the mailing address envelop or send each invited guest in the household a separate personal invitation.  This will reduce questions about who is or is not included.


By letting your band or DJ know if there will be a significant number of single guests attending, they can encourage mingling and help them to partner up for dancing.




See you Wednesday for part 3!

Don't Invite Trouble

Feature Article
by Tracey Baxter



Have you checked out the Internet for inspirational wedding décor? Of course! There are great websites chock full of fun ideas. So who wouldn’t spend hours searching for inspiration and help? Many of the fabulous inspiration sites have an “Ask Us” section where you also can find all the answers for your biggest wedding etiquette questions. But beware – etiquette doesn’t change with the times and trends like the wedding décor ideas that you have found.





Let’s talk invitations! Invitations should be hand addressed for both the outer and inner envelop. So many websites will tell you that it’s OK to print labels or print the invitations. It’s not. It’s really not!! The first impression your guests will have of your wedding is based on the invitation. A printed label screams that you care so little about your guests attending that you can’t spend the time to write their address on the invitation. Ouch! Surely that is not the message you want to send with your jazzy invitation.






Do you have to get a calligrapher? No! Anyone with legible handwriting will do just fine. In fact, my brides often enlist a group of friends for an invitation addressing party. Sometimes its bridesmaids and sometimes other friends who want to help in any way they can. And this wedding planner I know (wink) usually shows up with wine, cheese and other treats! 5 girlfriends + 20 envelopes each = the work is completed fast and fun is had by all. But wait, you say? You’re concerned your half dozen friends all have different handwriting? That’s OK. It doesn’t have to be the same handwriting. It just has to be done with handwriting. Your guests are not going to call each other to compare envelopes. Trust me on this – you want the invitations hand written!






What about the guest? You know the guest - the one you don’t actually know … the one coming with your 3rd cousin twice removed. Oh yeah, that guest. Is it proper to address them ‘and guest’ on the invitation? Let's be honest. It looks awkward because it is. The best thing you can do is call your cousin and ask their guest’s name and address so they can be properly invited. This gesture conveys that not only do you want this cousin to attend; you want their guest to feel truly invited and welcome at your wedding too. The rare times an ‘and guest’ would be necessary, this would not be included on the outer envelope. Rather, you would address the inner envelop Ms. Jane Doe and Guest. If you are not using an inner envelope, including a personal hand written note indicating that they are welcome to bring a guest and request they let you know with the RSVP. Then enclose this note with the invitation.






Etiquette may seem like a lot of extra work. But it’s well worth the effort. The time you take to do these important details will be appreciated by your guests. They will also be freer to enjoy the other special wedding day décor details you have created because they know you didn’t take etiquette short cuts. You only have this one chance to make the best first impression on your guests.




Your Wedding Planning Homework!


Practice your handwriting! Set the date for the invitation addressing party! Invite bridesmaids, friends from the office who want to help or your mom and future mother in law. It's a great way to get make a seemingly big task more manageable and fun!






Want to use this article in your e-Zine, blog or website? You may as long as you include this complete statement:


Wedding Solutions Specialist Tracey Baxter publishes the "Aisle Do" bi-weekly e-zine. Get your Free Report: "5 Fun and Fabulous Reception Ideas for a Reluctant DIY Bride” at www.aisledoweddings.com